Sex Hoagie

Sex Hoagie #23: Happy New Year!

contact@sexhoagie.com — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:08:00 GMT

For best results, start playing this episode exactly 31 minutes and 35 seconds before Midnight on New Year's Eve.

Happy New Year, Hoagie fans!

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #22: A Very Merry Sex Hoagliday

contact@sexhoagie.com — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 04:43:00 GMT

Ho-Ho-Hoagie, everyone! It's the Sex Hoagie Christmas celebration, and you're invited! Wait. Why are you running away? We only drugged the nog we're giving to the pretty girls.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #21: Taint Misbehavin'

contact@sexhoagie.com — Mon, 8 Dec 2008 11:00:00 GMT

Let's discuss the horrors... er... beauties of childbirth. Freddie finally gets to present his idea for a wet nurse movie.

The song featured in this episode is Tainted Susan by Stanley Forbes.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #20: If You Hate Thanksgiving, the Terrorists Have Won

contact@sexhoagie.com — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:39:00 GMT

What are we thankful for this week? Mostly, we're thankful that none of us have cysts on our rectums. Happy turkey day, everyone.

The song featured in this episode is Robert Lund - I Heart Thanksgiving by The FuMP.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #19: Leave an Awkward Moment Alone

contact@sexhoagie.com — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:44:00 GMT

Come and be awkward with us. Disclaimer: The Jackson Five was not harmed in the making of this podcast.

The song featured in this episode is The King of Awkward Conversations by Pro Audio.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #18: Time Train

contact@sexhoagie.com — Sun, 9 Nov 2008 17:48:00 GMT

Join us as we crush Jammy's dreams of time travel.

The song featured in this episode is Electric Car by Wednesday's Song.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

VOTE!

Tue, 4 Nov 2008 02:28:00 GMT

Posted by: JoeyColdCuts

Sex Hoagie #17: Halloween is Awesome

contact@sexhoagie.com — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:33:00 GMT

These Hoagie tales of horror and despair will keep you up all night... with severe cramping and diarrhea. (Man, diarrhea is hard to spell.)

The song featured in this episode is Halloween is Awesome by Hyper Nonsense.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #16: The Pusher

contact@sexhoagie.com — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 12:47:00 GMT

Even four middle-class whiteys sometimes have run-ins with the law.

The song featured in this episode is Zombie Dog by Woody Sparks.

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Sex Hoagie #15: The Great Outdoors

contact@sexhoagie.com — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 00:29:00 GMT

Please allow us to spray you in the eyes with air freshener and violate your no-no parts.

The song featured in this episode is Politics Unusual by New 2 the Brain.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie: Apology

contact@sexhoagie.com — Sun, 5 Oct 2008 23:00:00 GMT

Our apologies. You've come here seeking a new installment of hilarity and vulgarity, and all we can offer is our sincere apologies.

To make up for our lack of an episode this week, FeltMoses and Joey Cold Cuts did record a "We're sorry" bit. You should listen. It will make you feel alive just long enough to survive to our next full episode.

Sex Hoagie #14: Helicopter Balls

contact@sexhoagie.com — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:19:00 GMT

Like an elevator, we've decided to skip the unlucky number and jump right to episode 14. Listen as our souls fall through the couch.

The song featured in this episode is Fly Me Home, the theme to the hit TV show Helicopter Balls, by Blackout Pilot.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie Fan Fiction: JC Penney

contact@sexhoagie.com — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:14:00 GMT

Posted by Freddie Boom Boom:

Our Dearest Listeners, we the Hoagie Crew, are proud to present to you the first round of Sex Hoagie Fan Fiction. We hope that the following stories about the continuing adventures of JC Penney shoppers inspire all of you to write your own SHFF and send it to us at contact@sexhoagie.com.

Your story can be about anything that you may have vaguely heard on the podcast, or it could just be starring one of the Crew, it's up to you. If we like your story we'll post it here. So click on the links below to enjoy our submissions (PDF reader required) and get crackin' on your own!

Save Today! This Day Only! - Love, hate, vodka and cheese.
The Run - The story of a man, a department store and fashionable haberdashery.

Sex Hoagie #12: Try the Chicken!

contact@sexhoagie.com — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 18:20:00 GMT

Once upon a time, Freddie Boom Boom cleaned poop stains off of t-shirts. He loved every minute of it.

The song featured in this episode is I Hate My Job by Peach Stealing Monkeys.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #11: Nest of Hair

contact@sexhoagie.com — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 23:19:00 GMT

Warning: If you listen to this episode, you will probably vomit on yourself. But you'll also laugh a lot. So... you know... return on investment.

Special thanks to our friend Wormhole for being part of this week's show.

The song featured in this episode is Medical Anal Removal by Taz Jones.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #10: Turkey Attack!

contact@sexhoagie.com — Sun, 7 Sep 2008 18:27:00 GMT

On our Very Special 10th episode, we relay the chilling tale of one Pleveland resident's terrifying encounter with a delicious bird.

The song featured in this episode is Horror Scene by Christopher Wright.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #9: Exposing the Wizard

Mon, 1 Sep 2008 20:58:00 GMT

Don't you dare expose your wizard unless you're wearing a junk porch.

The song featured in this episode is My Balls, another priceless find in our quest for the worst music in the world. The artist committing this week's offense is AirFerg.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #8: How to Build a Bed Fort

contact@sexhoagie.com — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 01:51:00 GMT

We respectfully submit that hotel rooms are nothing but backdrops for voyeuristic sex Web sites, the guys that found Bigfoot's corpse most likely had sexual intercourse with it, and Michael Phelps is a freak.

The song featured in this episode is Abba I Belong to You by Rob Hainstock.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #7: Freddie Boom Boom's Magical Jesus-Lovin' Daddy

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 02:01:00 GMT

We respectfully submit that there should be an alternative to "casual friday" and that we'd all cut our legs off for enough money.

The song featured in this episode is I Married a Magician by Dust Poets, in honor of Freddie's Magical Jesus-lovin' daddy.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #6: Ezekiel Saw de Monkey-Faced Pig

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 06:00:00 GMT

We respectfully submit that pigs with monkey faces should be restricted to nightmares and that labia can be used to teach Boy Scouts the proper knot-tying techniques.

The song featured in this episode is piggyback.miss.that by Former Fat Boys, quite possibly the whitest rappers since that one guy was waxin' chumps like candles.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #5: Suck It, American Legion!

contact@sexhoagie.com — Sat, 2 Aug 2008 22:51:00 GMT

We respectfully submit that it's hilarious when old ladies fall down, and cheese houses are very difficult to build and maintain.

The song featured in this episode is Cheese Motherf*cker by The Failures. Fittingly, the band is Swiss... like delicious cheese.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Park Here, Pet

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:05:00 GMT

Posted by FeltMoses:

In addition to handicap parking spaces, I think there should also be Andy Capp parking spaces.

You know... for when you just want to run into a convenience store and pick up some Hot Fries real quick.

To help our already overworked government out, I took the liberty of designing the signage:

Sex Hoagie #4: All aboard the sh*t train!

contact@sexhoagie.com — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 16:57:00 GMT

FeltMoses, FBBWS, JiveTurkey and Jammy Legs discuss Freddie's employment woes and unfortunate bowel situations.

The song featured in this episode is Shittrain by The Buffali.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

B-I-N-G-OH SWEET GOD!

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 22:29:00 GMT

Posted by FBBWS:

Here are a few examples of Bingo Pull-Tab games I used to sell. Apparently, the elderly are more prone to gamble when reminded of male genitalia in some way. There have been studies.

Mutant Monkey Pig

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 01:11:00 GMT

Posted by FeltMoses:

This pig has a monkey's face:

And I will never sleep soundly again.

Read the full article about this monkey-faced piglet.

Black vs White - The Mustache

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 22:17:00 GMT

Posted by FeltMoses:

In the first post of our "Black vs White" series, we examine the mustache. As is made clear from the comparison image below, black men with mustaches are as cool as the other side of the pillow. White men with mustaches, on the other hand, scream and throw confetti.

Join us next time for another edition of "Black vs White."

Sex Hoagie #3: How does one puke like a lady?

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 06:00:00 GMT

FeltMoses, FBBWS, JoeyColdCuts and Jammy Legs discuss Freddie's grandma and the most they've ever thrown up... ever. Also, the Hoagie crew dissects FeltMoses's urination habits and some potential uses for the elderly.

The song featured in this episode is - disturbingly - Grandma's Vagina by Peter Bohovesky. We never knew a song about grandparent genitalia could be so musically complex.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie #2: Get Ripped in 90 Days!

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 04:00:00 GMT

FeltMoses, FBBWS, JoeyColdCuts and Jammy Legs discuss the P90X exercise program. Also, the Hoagie crew discusses the spoiling of movie endings and the fact that FeltMoses can't say the word "jaws" correctly.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Purchase of a Serial Killer

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:20:00 GMT

Posted by FeltMoses:

I bought these items at a Duane Reed in New York City yesterday, and I am pretty sure the girl behind me in line thought I was going to slit her throat, based on my purchase.

Bottled water in bulk and sanitizing hand gel... the choice of hatchet murderers everywhere.

Sex Hoagie #1: The Birth of a Sensual Sandwich

contact@sexhoagie.com — Sun, 6 Jul 2008 05:50:00 GMT

In the very first episode of Sex Hoagie, FeltMoses, FBBWS, JoeyColdCuts and Jammy Legs discuss their Twitter followers and beg and plead for Vibranation.com to come on board as a sponsor. Also, the Hoagie Crew discusses the origin of "Sex Hoagie" and fights they've been in.

Follow us at Twitter.com/SexHoagie or email us at contact [at] sexhoagie.com.

Sex Hoagie Mosaic

Wed, 2 Jul 2008 17:01:00 GMT

Posted by FeltMoses:

Jive Turkey, who has an amazingly funny blog, created the above mosaic for Sex Hoagie.

Thanks, Jive!

Dia-Dia-Diabetes

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 21:47:00 GMT

Posted by FeltMoses:

This sh*t is tight...

The Day of Reckoning Approacheth

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 03:05:00 GMT

Posted By: FeltMoses

Oh sweet Jesus. It's coming. The day when all of our blogging and Tweeting (Is the word "tweet" now trademarked?) ends and put-up-or-shut-up time begins.

On Sunday (aka "The Lord's Day") Joey Cold Cuts, Jammy Legs, Freddie Boom Boom Washington State and I record our first batch of Sex Hoagie episodes. Will we succeed at something? What are we hoping to succeed at? Will I ever touch a girl under her shirt?

Check back here for our first episode Sunday, July 6, (and every Sunday thereafter) to find out.

Better yet... just subscribe to get our first episode the instant it's released!

Jeff Peckman Alien Image Revealed!

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 16:53:00 GMT

Posted By: FeltMoses

Denver resident Jeff Peckman claims to have caught an alien on tape peering in his window.

We now have an exclusive image of the alien. Yip yip. Uh huh.

Jamie Lynn Spears is a Mommy!

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:45:00 GMT

Posted By: FeltMoses

As you can see from this exclusive first picture of Jamie Lynn's new baby girl, Jamie is going to be every bit the mother her big sister has been.

Introducing the Hoagie Crew...

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:30:00 GMT

Posted By: FeltMoses

Just wanted to introduce you to the core of the Hoagie blogging and podcasting crew.

Brad (aka me, aka Felt Moses)

Joe (aka Joey Cold Cuts)

Josh (aka Jammy Legs)

Fred (aka Freddie Boom Boom Washington State)

Please Note: The picture in this post is not of us. We only wish we were that effin' cool. If I had a moon rover, I'd ride that mother scratcher to work every day.

Welcome to SexHoagie.com!

Mon, 9 Jun 2008 01:34:00 GMT

Hi, and welcome to Sex Hoagie, a podcast that has nothing to do with sex and very little to do with hoagies.

Please check back often for new episodes.

Thank you,

Management